Sigur Ros

This is by Mary-
This morning, we drove to my grandmother's house in the country. The sun was shining. The sky was bright blue but got lighter as it neared the horizon, so the bottom of the sky was white like the whispy clouds at the top of the sky. There were snow-covered rolling hills, and I'm not even sure why I found it so beautiful today. The grass was showing through in some places and the trees were grey and lifeless. But I loved it. Mostly because the song Hoppipolla by Sigur Ros was playing. It is, to me, probably the most uplifting song in the world. It makes you want to roll down green hills in the summertime, or laugh, or cry with joy, or twirl in a field or hug somebody or dance or frolic or just do anything happy! And when it ends, you're sad because it's over and you know that the next song couldn't be so terribly joyful as Hoppipolla.

January 26

It's been a long time since I have been able to sit down and reflect on what is going on. It seems as if time is speeding up more and more everyday. My life has become so routined that days go by and I barely notice. I go to school as the sun is rising, and I come home as the sun sets. So, it feels like I am missing the world as I sit in classrooms thinking about things like the Cold War and verb conjugation. Now it is exam time and time passes even faster- I spend hours in my room, trying to remember everything I ever knew about synapses, enzymes, and other things too small to fathom.
I hardly have time to capture beauty with my wonderful new camera, which is sad. I have many sunrise and sunset pictures. This camera is a painful thing to have. I can never be sure if the film has turned out. The first film was ruined, and I am afraid this one may be too. I have not yet had it developed. It is heartbreaking, though, to have all those pictures destroyed.
I also got a season of the Waltons from my local library and watch it often. I am in love with John Boy, basically. But my favourite person is Grandpa.
I am learning a lot about God, too, I think. It was not too long after Christmas, a really wet, stormy, miserable night when my brother said "Let's buy a meal for a poor person." He asked me if I wanted to come. No-one else wanted to, and I knew he couldn't go alone, so I accompanied him. So, here we are, walking around in the slush, freezing cold and wet, so wet, and there is nobody on the streets. I have never seen our town so devoid of pedestrians. We asked some people if we could take them out for a meal (well, he asked), but the three people we saw did not accept. I mean, would you, if a couple of wet teenagers asked you? So, we were walking around town for about an hour, and pretty much given up. We were hungry too, and cold, and, well, finally we saw this guy, and we asked him, and anyway, we ate at Tim Hortons. Also we had brought Tim Tams so we had a Tim Tam Slam. It turned out the guy we were taking out to eat was the same guy who we had once taken to a Franklin Graham crusade. I hope we showed him a different side of Christianity than, well, televangelists.
A sad thing is that today a friend of mine had her last exam. She has enough credits to graduate now, and she will be going to Alberta and I do not know when she will be back. I am not a big fan of goodbyes.
Books I have been reading lately: Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell, The Irrestible Revolution by Shane Claiborne, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller, and The Portable Thoreau.

Now what.

So maybe I love waking up early to go get a Christmas tree in the bitter cold wind, and listening to a mix cd and my mother reading Pagan Christianity? out loud on the way (Yes I did italicize that book title. MLA has been revised everyone, it has been revised). I love this mix CD I have made. It goes from "Kids" to "Psalm" in 16 songs. And it is wonderful. And the book is kind of interesting too. But between that, the Bible, and some other books I've been reading, it sounds as if we are doing life and Christianity all wrong. Which is scary. But it is hopeful too. Because I do feel in my heart that there must be a better way! So, I was grumpy, it was the morning, I was eating a granola bar and listening to the music. We went up to the woods like we always do, as a family, to cut down a Christmas tree. It was very cold though. On the way back, our van got stuck in the mud and the ice. I wish I had taken a picture! We all had to push! At one point, I had to drive. It was scary, but finally we got our van out of the rough spot. We were very muddy and cold, but happy.
Then we visited our Grammy who mostly speaks nonsense now.
Then I went to this amazing Christmas party with amazing friends.
Soon I will dance the night away with a bunch of nerdy IB people. I will leave you all with a quote from our Sunday school's Christmas video:
"Tonight is Christmas and I hate Christmas because my parents left me when I was just a kid. I guess I'll go sleep by this garbage can."

It's December

What is going on in my life right now... recently some friends and I got together to have a tea party for my birthday. It was wild. Wow, I am eighteen already. I feel as if I have to be more responsible or something.
And it's time to choose what I want to do. So many people, when they hear that I am close to graduating, ask me what I will do next year. I just tell them I will go to university. I guess I have some pretty good ideas, but I just don't like to tell people in case they judge me. That's probably a really bad thing to think, but whatever. Besides, if I just tell people I will go to university, it gives them an opportunity to give me advice. I like advice. But, I am pretty much at peace with this college thing. I am not panicking.
Meanwhile, I got an iTunes gift card for my birthday. So that was really exciting. Some songs I downloaded:

H1N1

So many people missing from school, such large lines for vaccination, Purell dispensers popping up everywhere... what is this madness? It's H1N1!
And I may have it.
Yesterday evening I felt very strange- very hot and yet it felt like I was shivering. Besides that, I have a terrible cold, I have had it since camp, well anyway, I felt awful yesterday.
My temperature was 101.8
I had pretty much NO energy.
Just in case you are wondering,
I think I have H1N1.

Haiku for Swine Flu
coughing and fever
are symptoms of this virus;
it ruins autumn

Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving in Canada. Our family gathered in the capital of New Brunswick for some turkey and skype with the relatives out West. Here is what I am thankful for: ................................................................................................................................................................. Education

I think education is really something to be thankful for. Although I sometimes complain about school and IB and the extended essay, I still really love the opportunity to get an education. A couple of days ago, our IB graduating class had a retreat and I had a lot of fun. Still, it was sad to think that in a couple of years, these friends I have will turn into people who I will remember only when I see their picture in the yearbook and think "Oh, I went to high school with him. I wonder what happened to him." So I think that is a little sad. But I am so grateful for education, that I am learning these really cool things in school, things that just blow my mind. I was learning about four-dimensional figures the other day. Insane. I am so happy to have equal educational opportunity as a male. I think the IB program has a lot of opportunities. I like learning two languages (three if you count gaelic) besides English. I like that, although I have lived in the Maritimes for my whole life and have never travelled farther than Ottawa, I can know what life is like in far away lands and at other time periods.

Music

I guess music is awesome. Yeah I am pretty sure it is. Not too long ago I read a sixeyes post listing some great Canadian music. I think I am pretty lucky to live in Canada. Right now I am into Hey Rosetta! a lot and Joel Plaskett. Jason Collett is pretty cool and Jon Bryant, an up and coming Halifax acoustic performer, is also someone who is a great musician. Even in the smallish town where I live there is a supergreat band program and well music is great. A character in The Swallows of Kabul said "Music is the true breath of life. We eat so we won't starve to death. We sing so we can hear ourselves live."

The Church

So, I think it is a given that I am thankful for Jesus and God and the ultimate gift of life, but I would also like to say I am super thankful for the church. The Catholic church has taken a lot of flak lately because of priests who are pedophiles and such, and that sucks out loud. But the church can do way better than that. I am not Catholic. My church is not Catholic. And I love my church. I love the church in general I think. About a week ago, some people at a church my family is friends with gathered at a leader's cottage. We discussed what our perfect church would look like. Since I had been reading Acts, all I could think of was the Acts church:

All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had.
With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need.
-Acts 4:32-35, NIV

I am thankful for this model of a good church. I am thankful for my church and the web of support it is.
Happy Thanksgiving All!

My New Song I Love

A couple of my favourite people sang this at summer camp this week. Beautiful.


Times- Tenth Avenue North

I know I need You
I need to love You
I love to see You, but it's been so long
I long to feel You
I feel this need for You
And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Now You pull me near You
When we're close, I fear You
Still I'm afraid to tell You, all that I've done
Are You done forgiving?
Oh can You look past my pretending?
Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become
What have I become?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

I hear You say,
"My love is over. It's underneath.
It's inside. It's in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.
The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '
The times you're broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends."

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.